Even though I may have forgotten about them for such a long time, I'm incredibly bummed that my old journals are gone forever.
I wish I were able to go back and read everything I'd once written. Everything that was so important at one point in my life.
I was reading hand written diaries from when I was 17 today, and it makes me wish even more I had memories of other times in my life to relive every once in a while.
Sad. Sad.

 What happens when you think you've changed, you think you've grown as a person, you think you've become the person you want to be, and you have finally found someone you want to share your life with? What happens when for the longest time you are so incredibly happy, so hopeful, so excited for the future, until one day, you wake up, and it just doesn't feel like it's there anymore?

Just copying and pasting here so I can remember how cute it is later.

...
is trying to figure out how to make the girl of his dreams fall in love with him. Or at least fall in lust with him.
Updated 2 minutes ago

Then I saw him again last night. We lazed, he stressed about moving, we slept, we woke up, had the last sex, and said the new, real goodbye.
It felt like less feelings were involved.
He said, "i'm leaving for a long time, hey"
I said, "yep"
He said, "don't wait for me, okay"
I said, have a good trip.
His last line still bugs me, and I can't figure out if I'm justified.
I mean, isn't it obvious we're not doing this whole, "wait for each other thing"? If that were indeed the case, maybe we'd have talked about it SOMETIME. But we didn't. We both just knew it was staying here, and ending here.

But I still miss him already. In the weeks leading up to now, I've been subconsciously trying to find every little thing wrong with him, and in turn bitching about it as well. I know now, that I was just trying to keep myself from getting hurt. But of course that's inevitable. I may try to be so detached, and in some ways I totally am, but for the most part, my feelings tend to be pretty sincere.
I'll miss the comfort of the relationship. I'll definitely miss how "huggy and kissy" he could be.
Yeah, I fell a little...but I always have to pick myself up.




"but maybe she has a pattern...she doesn't wanna get hurt and by that she's hurting people, and by hurting people she thinks she's not gonna get hurt, but she gets hurt" -the science of sleep

So we got over that, and all in all, had a pretty good two months.
We talked more, we laughed more, I liked being around him more.
We knew in the end it would come to this. There were some ups and downs, and I had really tried to convince myself that I was over it, that I knew it was coming, and that we could both move on nicely. I mean, we will soon enough, but I actually thought it'd be easier on me.

The going away/final show was last night and it was 95% awesome. We were together for everyone to see and I felt really good about it all.
This afternoon we basically said goodbye. Very few words were spoken, we just hugged for a long time. I was strong, and I left. Only to break down in my car as soon as I got out there.
I'm not in love with him, that isn't the issue, but it's just tough watching it all end. And it has. And I'll miss him.

It's funny. All I can think about is how crazy I must seem. Maybe that means since I'm aware of it, I'm not actually. Reassuring, but not really.

The unanswered and disregarded texts lead me to believe you just don't have anything to say.
I guess somewhere along the line, it got to be too much.
I was never trying to make it something it wasn't, and I wasn't trying to push for more.
I guess that communication factor would have been a good idea from the start.
It seems that when I decided to open up, it was too after the fact.
And I guess it was the whole MIA business on your part that confused me even more.

At the same time, a part of me wanted to be normal and just pick up the phone, but the last communication we had, I said to give me a shout when you wanted to talk, and I'm not about to try and force anything.

Or hey, maybe it was all just a technological glitch and you didn't get anything I sent.
If that's the bizarre case, then give me a call, if not, I made my attempt.

Take care.

Trying to avoid being so impulsive over this, but this is what I started...
"So I won't try to get into this today and sorry for the weirdness last night...it's been an incredibly long weekend...but the ball is in your court if you want to talk...hope the birthday disaster is...(idunno)"

I can't just leave it alone.

EDIT
So in the end, and after letting Jordan read the last five or so entries about this subject, we decided I'm not really crazy, I should give it time, if he's worth it and interested, he'll come around, and if not, I did all that I could.

me "So I won't try to get into anything today and sorry for the weirdness last night...its been an incredibly long weekend...I'd like to try and talk if you still want to...but I don't want to force anything. Just let me know what you think. And again, happy birthday."

So I left it at that, and that's where it's gonna stay until he wants to talk.

I'm not at peace, I'm just working really hard on not being a complete nut.


and, scene.

I honestly don't know what to do.
So after I said "i assume i made things weird..." around 8:30, he texted at 10 with
"Thanks a lot. You're more than welcome to come witness the disaster tomorrow. Filthy's 10ish"
me: "I'm still felling weird and embarrassed about everything..so I'm not too sure about that. Thanks though."

And that was it.

I just want him to say we can talk about it. I just want to know that I'm not crazy, even though I know I'm acting like it.

I need advice, and there isn't anyone who would get it.
I want to text saying that I won't try and get into it today, being his birthday and all, but the ball is in his court now, and if he wants to talk, to get back to me.
But at the same time, if I did that, the obsessing wouldn't stop.

I've never been like this before.
In a relationship, perhaps, but this thing with he and I...it can't even be considered that.
It's fucked. I'm fucked.

I don't even want to tag his name at the end of this. It's already too big.

me :"i assume i made things pretty weird and i get that. i just wanted to say happy birthday and hope you have a good one..."

i just hate not knowing.
i know it's not supposed to be like this.
i know i shouldn't be obsessing over it all.
i know it should be easier.
i wish i could just let go.


i choose to bathe. and relax.
fuck boys.

On a wonderfully, amazing note...I was going out to meet Andrew on Thursday and I didn't have time to stay home and take my laundry out of the dryer. I asked my dad to just throw it in the hamper and put it in my apartment. Instead, he folded everything. It's something so small, but made me so happy.
Love him.

And 'Mama' by the Spice Girls...great song. hah.
When I was a kid I think I wanted to do an airband type thing for my mom for Mother's Day.

And "When Daddy Let Me Drive" by Alan Jackson...always makes me smile. Maybe even a little teary

I'm cute.

peace.

me. "so i can't seem to fight the urge to know if i completely embarrassed myself with my late night ramble..."
him. "no you certainly did not. i just hadn't figured out how to respond yet. i appreciate you telling me all those things."
me. "alright. i can accept that."
him. "i honestly don't know what else to say right now. i'm really tired. i want to talk about things..."
me. "its okay. i don't want to rush any of this."
him. "fair enough. we'll talk later this weekend then?"
me. "yeah. just give me a shout when you're free.

I guess this helped in the sense that I would have been obsessing over it so much more if I would have sent the email and heard nothing back.
But I'm still obsessing.
I opened the door to talk, but when we get together what if I still don't know what to say?
And does he really appreciate me telling him things, or does he just think I'm a nut?
Did I sound too crazy in the email? Did I say too much? What will come of it all?

But then again, I read it over and I'm pretty content with how it sounds and what it said. I meant everything I said, and those were the thoughts I was feeling most strongly about at the time. Is that enough?

Holy, this is what I mean when I say I can't control the thoughts. They're just non-stop.
And getting me nowhere.

I asked Zac yesterday how we got to the comfort level we have. I asked how frustrating it was to get to know me and to wait for me to open up. I guess it was pretty tough for him too. I asked when he finally felt that he knew me. And of course, the answer I could expect, he still doesn't really know me. I asked him to write down what he said to me so I could remember it.

"Getting to know you isn't a frustrating thing. The frustrating portion pops up sometimes because you're so interesting at one point, then the next you close up; still showing that mystery, but not giving an inch at the same time. I may know a fair bit about you, but I still don't know everything. That's part of your allure. As comfortable as we may be, I still find you intriguing. I think for as long as I know you, I'll be forever finding out new things about you."
"The frustrating part is you put up a wall that you want to have knocked down, but won't let anyone in to do it."

And it's funny. I plan(ned) on talking to Charlene and Jordan about the same things, but I can almost guarantee they're going to give me the same sorts of answers.
Jordan knows me, but he doesn't know a whole lot about me. We're not teenagers anymore, and in the six years we've known each other, a lot has changed.
Charlene and I have this connection, but there are things we've never really talked about. I don't even know who her first kiss was. I want to learn more and have the people who mean the most to me, know more than they do.
I guess they're where to start.

k. work. joy.

( When I just don't know what to say... )

This is the most he's learned about me in almost a year.
Ugh. I suck.

So Tuesday I woke up with the worst headache of my life. I had a play date with Chris, we went bowling, it died down a little, but when he left, it totally came back. Lately my headaches (which are happening far too often) are accompanied with blurred vision and I'm not able to focus. On top of that, I felt flu symptoms coming on as well.
Wednesday I attempted to go to work, but just broke down when I got there. The drive there was the first time the blurry vision has affected my driving. I actually felt unsafe, and it wasn't a good feeling. So I broke down, got sent home, called my mum, and then drove myself home. My dad called me shortly, all worried and cute, and said we'd go to the Emergency and hang out and have them look at me. We waited for-fucking-ever before finally getting in...typical though, I'm not really complaining.
And after all that, they figure I'm getting migraines. I understand why they'd think that, but it just feels like more. The headaches aren't always accompanied with the blurry vision. The blurred everything comes by itself, very, very often.
Right now for example.
I just want it to stop. They did tests and I still have 20/20 vision. And the doctor supposedly ruled out anything neurological.
If it could stop, that'd be great.

On top of all that, because I've been so sick lately, my mom gave in and gave me a massage. It was amazing, and a part of it actually felt like an out-of-body experience, but at the same time, my sensitive skin didn't love the mixture of essential oils she used, and now I have a rash. Ugh.


So I can't figure out...
For the last month, Andrew and I have been on more of a dating scale than we have since the first month we met. His birthday is February 20, and I was considering getting tickets to see Wolfmother for him, since he mentioned being into checking them out. But by considering, I mean, I don't want to do something too girlfriendy, because I don't consider myself that, and I know he isn't thinking of me like that either. We get along, we're coupley when we're together, we have the kissing, and the cuddling and the sex, but it's very casual. We hang out spontaneously, or maybe a day in advance. There isn't really pressure to call and check in all the time, though we probably have most days, for a few weeks now.
And by considering, I mean, the show is 5 days after his birthday, and that's not much notice. If I told him about the tickets earlier than that, I think it'd just be weird, but at the same time, I would totally feel weird even giving him a present on his birthday. He's never bought me anything and vice versa, with the exception of drinks at the bar.
This whole thing with him is so odd. Some might think that I'm attracted to him because he's a musician, and while that's pretty hot, that's not all it is. I think I've seen 3 shows in the 9 months we've known each other, and he's played his guitar once while I've been around. So I'm ruling that out as the main attraction. I'm attracted to him physically, but he also does a bunch of little things that totally get on my nerves.

Nah, I don't feel like thinking about it anymore.
There's just some sort of chemistry keeping us both there. I can't really see myself being his 'girlfriend', nor am I sure I'd want that, but I'm okay with what it is right now, I guess.
That doesn't solve the birthday issue at all, though.
Yep.

-------------10 years ago-------------------------

1.) How old were you? 12
2.) Where did you go to school? DS MacKenzie Jr High
3.)Where did you work? I had probably just started the whole flyer/mailout thing for my sister 4.) Where did you live? Edmonton, AB
5.) Where did you hang out? my house, Charlene's house, Jen's
6.) Did you wear glasses? nope
7) Who were your best friends? Charlene, Laura
8) Who was your crush? Isaac
9.) How many piercings did you have?: just the ears, so 2
10.) What car did you drive? no car for me
11.) Had you been to a real party yet? its doubtful
12.) Had your heart broken? nope
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: single

----------------5 years ago----------------------

1.)How old were you? 17
2.) Where did you go to school? Harry Ainlay
3.) Where did you work? Chilis
4.) Where did you live? Edmonton, AB
5.) Where did you hang out? Charlene's, Danielle's, Jordan's, Tyler's, the mall
6.) Did you wear glasses? nope
7.) Who was your best friends? Charlene, Danielle, Jordan, Tyler, Josh
8.) Who was your crush? Jordan while we were dating, then so many new boys..josh,chris, and more
10.) How many piercings did you have? the ears, so 5
11) What car did you drive? no car, but friends with cars! haha
12.) Had you had your heart broken? nah
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter: mostly single

**JANUARY 2007**

1.) How old are you? 22
2.) Where do you work? Chilis
3.) Where do you live? Edmonton, AB
4.) Do you wear glasses? nope
5.) Who is your best friend? Charlene, Jordan, i would say Zac..but its a fight to want to stay friends with him right now
6.) Do you talk to your old friends? some, not many
7.) How many piercings do you have? ears, 5, and eyebrow
8.) How many tattoos? none
9.) What kind of car do you have? Mazda 3
10.) Has your heart been broken? it felt like it at the time, but it was probably just how it goes. supposedly i do more of the heartbreaking myself
11.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter? single

EDIT. December 13 I went to work for wings with Walker and his friends. These two regular guys Chris and Kevin were there. I used to party with Chris through mutual friends. Chris worked with this guy Elliott who I went on a few dates with forever ago. Anyway, I thought Kevin was cute when I first saw him a while back. That night we hung out, I got really drunk, he drove me home and we made out in his car to 'Mad World'. 1.
December 20 I was back at work. Matt made plans with Chris and Kevin for them to bring a keg from Brewsters and we'd have an after hours party. They came, we all hung out. A girl who used to work there came in with her friend who I've served before. He and I were flirting it up and I ended up giving him my number. We hung out the next day and watched a movie at his place and made out. 2.
Work Christmas party on Dec 17. Terry, whom I've had the biggest crush on since the ski trip last year. And since we hooked up in the summer. 1...3.
I last saw Andrew on Dec 19. We hung out and actually watched an entire movie. No matter how frustrated I get with our set up, he's still a great kisser. 2...4.
After Jenny's sex toy party Charlene and I went to Whyte. I started talking to some guy on the street and we went back to his friends place to hang out. Sounds shady but it wasn't. We took pictures and it looks like we're so in love. Brad. Make out 3...5.
Went to Whyte Ave with Walker and company. Ended up getting too drunk at the P.O. We all went back to my place, Walker went to sleep, I made out with his friend Dave. 4...6.
New Years Eve, got drunk with work people. Played sociables and became a secret team, hoarding all the bathroom cards with Frazer's friend Shane. We flirted all night and had Zac staring me down the whole time. Pretended that I was asleep so he would go home, and had the best 2 hour make out of my life with Shane. 5...7.
So in, uh, two, no, four weeks, 5, no, 7 guys.
90% of it was just kissing, and it was marvelous.

I leave for Vancouver tomorrow and who knows what the 4 days will bring.
My first choice would be Brandon Boyd after the Incubus concert, but I'll settle for a look-a-like.

kpeace.
letsmakeout.

It's Christmases like these that make me so glad that I'm not really related by blood to the majority of the extended family.
The story so far...
I spontaneously (we live in the same building) stop by my parents after work on Saturday. My grandma is there and I find out that my sister plus niece and "brother-in-law" are coming over for dinner. My parents invite me to stay and join them all. This is around 7:30. Apparantly the dinner plans were for 5ish and we're all still waiting for them. It's not until about 8:40 that they come strolling in, after leaving everyone to wait for three hours. Dinner is ready and out of respect, we've waited. The first thing the sister does when she comes in is get two pots out to boil water for her brocolli and carrots. She's on some sort of cleanse or diet or whatever the fuck, and that's all she can eat. We realize this after my parents have gone out and bought the food and prepared the meal for 6. Needless to say, we are very upset about this. In fact, livid. I'm livid for my mum. I'm not even giving the story the extreme that it deserves, but for her to come into my parents place and completely ignore everyone around and start doing her own thing, this is an issue.
I'm the one to be vocal first. It wasn't exactly directed at her, but it was said loud enough for her to hear. 'Rude', 'ignorant', and 'no respect' are a few of the teasers I throw out. I get so riled up talking aobut it that I have to leave. Eventually I come back, my parents and I send a few choice words her way, but go about eating dinner. After we clean up (we as in everyone but her) and are just sitting around, my mum asks quietly if she can talk to her for a moment. Being the mature 38 year old she is, she rolls her eyes and groans. That's when I really lose it.
"You think she doesn't have a right to be upset?" was my calm question. Now I'm directing my words, but I can't even look at her I'm so mad. I repeat all of the first comemnts and more. I was shaking. We start going off on how she made everyone wait, she refuses dinner when she has been specifically invited over FOR DINNER, and it's a complete, ignorant, show of disrespect.

One thing to know, we've been playing this game with her for years. The first real confrontation I remember is when we visited her in Vernon. I was around 8 years old. Something happened and she and my parents got in a huge fight, and she kicked us out of her car and we ended up walking the highway (though possibly hailing a cab, i can't remember), in the middle of the night, back to our campground. The second I remember is when I was dating Jordan. He lived in her house for a while, and one night she tried to crawl into bed and make a move on him. He obviously felt guilty even though he hadn't done anything wrong. Five years ago I was 17, Jordan was 19 and she was 33. I remember we had an intervention of sorts. I still can't handle confrontation, but 5 years ago it was even worse. We all laid into her and told her everything she does isn't normal. She lies, she deceives, and she cares for no one other than herself.
Through the years we've had falling outs, and too many nasty emails to remember. All brought upon by her. She rags on my mum for working full time and accusing her of being an uncaring grandmother. She constantly compares her to Jesse's mom. She gets mad at us all for not 'asking to babysit' anymore. She comes up with some bullshit that we were only interested in Taiya when she was a newborn, and now we don't have time for her. From age 2-3, I probably saw her at least two times a week. I'd go out there and pick her up and spend the entire day. She'd drop her off at Chili's with me constantly. She'd be late 95% of the time, and show again that the world revolves around her and her schedule. She is messed up. She does not see the world as it is.

Anyways, I'm starting to freak out at her, my grandma is trying to get me to stop, when finally both of my parents jump in after watching and listening. Her and my mom battle it out for a good hour in front of us all. My dad and I both adding our two cents as often as we can. It went on and on with her constantly contradicting herself, refusing to see it through anyone else's eyes, making excuses, unable to be remotely sorry for any of her actions. Going on and on about it 'being our perception', but basically saying we're all wrong. Telling us to 'never have any expectations in life, and you'll never be upset'. We shouldn't expect her to eat when she's invited for dinner, we shouldn't even expect her to talk!. Don't expect her to be on time, don't expect her to care about our feelings. Oh god I could go on.

But now there is another more current issue I have to upset me.

The nephew.
16 years old. He hasn't had a great life by any extent. He's currently homeless, but jumping around from friend's house to friend's house.
He has an outrageous temper and doesn't show respect. We know he's a good kid deep down, but he's involving himself in bad situations.
A month or so ago, my parents had him over for dinner. He was fairly polite and not so hard to get along with. When my parents were leaving to drop him off, I told them to give him my number in case he ever needed it. A few weeks after that he called and asked if he could crash here because the shelter was full. I said sure, he took the bus over, we talked casually about what he was up to, and eventually went to bed. I dropped him off at the bus in the morning and that was that.
He showed up around noon on Christmas and spent the day with us. From the moment he got there, I was uneasy. He was loud. Every second word was fuck. He had a crazy temper, and he was being a know it all. This may all sound like typical 16 year old behavior, but it wasn't necessary.

* I've been downstairs at my parents for the last 3 1/2 hours. The emotion may not be as it was prior *

We played games and he'd get upset when he lost. Not just being a poor sport, but actually flipping out. Refusing to keep playing and actually accusing my parents of cheating by passing cards under the table. To be there, and to hear it, and feel the energy, I don't doubt for a second that he meant it. The temper continued until the very last game of the night.
We were all losing to my dad by a lot. When the last hand came around, and he played the hand wrong, it was the last straw. He freaked out, said we hadn't told him the rules, accused us of changing them on him (while at the same time contradicting himself in the last game they played), and threw his cards down and quit. I don't think I've heard 'fuck' so many times in 1 minute. We couldn't really believe his attitude and tried saying calmly, without taking it too seriously, that it's just a game, all the money in the pot was given to him to put in, and it was the last hand. I said that the nice, friendly game would be ruined for the rest of us and to just finish it up. It ended, I gathered my stuff and left. I just couldn't handle it anymore and I was done.
I was home for half an hour when my mum called and said that he was blaming me, saying I had been rolling my eyes and being rude to him all day. Oh I did roll my eyes numerous times, but each incident was justified. She asked if I'd come over, and I said there was no point. My dad called 5 minutes later and said I should come down. Eventually I went, to find out he'd already left when he found out I was coming. My dad left and drove the route to the bus terminal trying to find him. Four separate times he told my dad to fuck off and to leave him alone. On the fourth time, he said to stay the fuck away from him, and if he got any closer he'd pound him. He raised his hands to my dad, while just a few feet away from him. Then there was the last straw again. It wasn't worth it anymore. All he wanted to do was bring him back so we could all talk.
He was fed, and had good company, and was offered a roof over his head for a few days, and he threw it all away like that. My parents had done absolutely nothing wrong, and he treats them like absolute garbage..like the enemy.
He used me as a scapegoat because I wasn't there. He never would have said anything to my face.

And yeah, we spent the last 3 1/2 hours talking about him and the sister.
It was more than I can even think of getting into.
I have his email, and I want to try and write something that he won't explode at tomorrow. We'll see how that goes. As for now, I'm beat.

As dysfunctional as this entry may sound, actually times it by 5. Even then you probably can't comprehend the awful energy we experienced.

xmas. blows.


On a final note, I got pretty earrings and a necklace from my dad, a candle with a lovely 'daughter' phrase on it, and I get to choose my own Tarot cards and my mum will order them.
The three of us and my grandma are the only normal ones. With the off and on set up with the other sister, and Taiya of course, I'd be okay without the rest of the family all together.

I set myself up to feel so pathetic. I know I do.
Example 1. Last night Andrew's band was playing a show. It was free for members of the club, and I made plans to go. I wanted to go because I actually really enjoy seeing them play, but of course it only looks like I'd want to go to see him. While I'm not saying that isn't at least partially true, it's definitely not my main reason.
Doors were at 8, but since my friend ended up having to work, we got downtown around 1130, maybe even closer to midnight. Of course the closer we get, the more nervous I feel. The more I feel it looks like I'm stalking him, looks like I'm obsessed. I get this extreme thinking into my head, and inevitably feel like such a loser. We drove by the club, I saw him outside smoking, ducked, and told Walker to keep driving.
Fuck. I still feel like a moron.
I overthink everything. I just don't know how to let anyone in anymore. Andrew is a perfect example.
I spent the remainder of the night depressed and feeling incredibly sorry for myself.

Example 2. Talking with Jamie tonight. I hate feeling like he was the only one who really 'got me', as trite as it sounds. Hate the desperate feeling, wishing that things could have been great with us again. He knew I was upset, said he was going to come over for a bit, and then cancelled 5 minutes later. It's a vicious cycle. I know he's not available, I know he never really has been, but I still get my hopes up. I still like spending time with him, or at least the idea of it.
The memories, the jokes, the understanding, the undoubted connection.
Why can't I let go of our past? I've been asking myself this for 3 years.

Example 2.5. Zac was going to come over, I asked if he wanted to bring me some snacks, as I've been home sick all day with no food. He didn't bring chips, which were the only thing I really wanted, and I can't help but feel Jamie would have. Irrational, yes. Spoiled, yes. Ridiculously bratty, yes.
I just can't be pleased.
I blame the hormones.

I watched Little Black Book and during her speech to her boyfriend at the end, I cried. I don't believe it was so touching to justify crying. Hormones.
After Zac left, I sat and felt sorry for myself again. The remote wouldn't work, so I threw it at the wall. Hormones.

I want to meet someone, have great chemistry, and want them to want to spend as much time with me as they can get.
I spent a good two plus hours on Wednesday night talking to a friend of a friend from work. He said we should hang out the next day. I was a looking forward to it. It got too late, and it didn't end up happening. No contact since.


And now I'm sitting here, talking to people on MSN, crying my eyes out.
God I'm awesome.

I'm strange.
My jealousy confuses me.
We saw each other for a month tops. I got weird and didn't want commitment. Since then, it seems to be mostly about the sex. So why do I wish it could be something more? Why do I have to feel that he 'likes' me? God, why do I get jealous when I read the messages on his page?
It's like, why does he seem completely different and fun in his relationships with other people? And it's just not like that when we hang out.
I generally like his company, and I'm somewhat intrigued, but I don't know how to just be.
The only answer, it's me.
Shitty deal.

bored, cell phone survey
it proves i'm a loser
TAKE OUT YOUR CELL PHONE

1. what color is it? blue
2. whats your service? telus
3. last missed call? work, i was late
4. last dialed call? walker
5. last received call? walker, again
6. last text received? "you are the true master of the haiku. =)"
7. last text written? "Haikus make me smile. Especially if they're great. This one is for sure."
8. how many contacts do you have? 33..i delete if we don't talk ever
9. who do you talk to the most on the phone? zac, parents
10. who do you text the most? zac, walker, jamie, andrew
11. how many phones have you ever had? 3
12. whos first in your phonebook? AMA
13. whos last? zac
14. who are all the J's in your phonebook? jaclyn, jamie, jared, jason, jen/jesse, jenny, john, jordan, jordan, justin
15. how about the m's: meliss, mum/dad, mum office
17. Who's your 19th received message from and what does it say? the first 12 are locked, but 19 is "any kind of drinking plans tonite?" from zac
18. who's your 3rd missed call? 237-6934...i texted and asked who it was, no reply
19. 6th dialed call? voicemail
20. how many texts do u get a month? lots, 50/day on average
21. how many minutes? i dunno, i try to avoid it during nonpeak.
22. when do you get a new phone? contract is up in sept
23. do alot of people have the same phone as you? yeah, at least 4 i know
24. when did you get yours? when i was 16 or 17
25. what is your background picture? orange telus flower